Random Acts of Goofiness

Things I've been worrying about . . .

1).  My hair.  It's not that noticeable yet . . . but my part is getting wider and wider, and it is thinning right on the top, in the front.  It's sad because I have always thought of my hair as my best feature.  It's not the end of the world though, I think I've got a few good years (and hairs) left before I have to start sporting a comb over.  

And please don't stare at the top of my head the next time you see me.  If you do . . . I might have to pull your hair out.  

 

2).  I watched 2012.  Enough said.  

 

3).  My skin.  It's almost 40 years old.  Wonder if there is a warranty on it?    

"Dear God, my skin has not lasted the number of years I expected it to . . . I think there may have been some defects in your materials and workmanship . . . therefore, I would appreciate some new skin . . ."

I can hear God now . . . "The warranty does not cover spots, wrinkles, and discoloration due to sunlight exposure."

 

4).  My kid.  I always worry about my kid.  Who doesn't worry about their kid?  I love that kid.

 

5).   Did I mention I watched 2012?  Minus the cheesy special effects . . . that's some scary "poop on your shoe".

 

6).   The crack running down the Shrine Wall in the basement.  Yeah, "that" wall . . . the pics (plus more) are still there.  I really think it freaks the Reliable man out.  The pictures, not the crack.  And by crack, I mean crevice . . . cocaine isn't running down my wall.  I know it looks and sounds like I may be on crack but I have never touched the stuff. 

 

7).  My memory.   I forgot my debit card PIN number the other day while buying groceries.  It was embarrassing.  The cashier probably thought I had stolen the card.  I tried two different numbers and then it wouldn't let me try anymore.  I ended up using a credit card I had stolen.   I kid, I kid.

 

I am going to leave you with one of my favorite Bible verses:

Matthew 6:34  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

AMEN!

Today's Thoughts by Kristi Smith

Why is it I look old when I wake up, I get younger looking as the hours go by, I hit my peak around 1 p.m. and then my looks start to decline again?  I feel like Cinderella on crack. 

I chased an opossum down the road in my car tonight, it was fun watching his little butt wiggle back and forth.  Don't worry, I didn't kill him, just wanted to watch him wiggle. 

My Halloween Costume:

 

I love this costume.  It makes me feel young and cute.   And it makes me want to shake my "booty".  I don't care if I look like a 40 year old in a 20 year old's costume . . . I plan to wear this on my 70th Halloween.   Then I can be a 70 year old in a 20 year old's costume and all the other 70 year old's will be jealous that I still have the nerve to dress up for Halloween in a 20 year old's costume OR . . . 

they will just talk about me behind my back and I will hear them because they will not realize how loud they are talking because they are 70 years old.  It could happen . . .

Okay, so my hearing will be gone, too.   It was a joke.

I used to pray to God to please let me get pregnant and now I pray to God, "Please, oh please, let me get my period."   TMI?  You are reading my blog . . . deal with it.   I just keep feeling like HE is going to play some big practical joke on me. 

I have crap all over my lungs (crap is pulmonary nodules).  I have had two cat scans and will have a 3rd in April just to make sure things haven't changed.  They say it is nothing to be worried about, it is probably histoplasmosis, which is fungus from bird crap.  I possibly have bird crap on my lungs.  I can't think of the last time I ate bird crap . . .

You have missed me, haven't you?

Play along, please, play along.

 

Playing Catch Up . . .

I have really slacked with blogging.  There have been lots of things I wanted to blog about but never found the time or energy.  SO . . . I have decided to go waaay back . . .

Let's start off with a joke . . .

Why do the New Guinea Chickens cross the road?

To give Kristi whiplash. 

These darn chickens cross the road ALL the time while I am on my way to work! But they do make me smile.

Okay, we are going back to January . . . when we had a hail storm . . . weird.

 
   
 Brrr . . . a couple of winter pics.

Whew . . . glad that is over. 

I helped Rozanne's son, Zach, make a cover for the cookbook they are selling for Palmyra's Pace Program.  I didn't even realize we were making it for a real cookbook, at first I thought he was just doing it as an assignment or I would have baked homemade cookies!  The class decided what they wanted on the cover (cookies with chocolate drizzled over them), Zach thought to stack the cookies, I would have just piled them one on top of the other.  He is one sharp cookie (pun intended).   If you want one, I think they are still selling them for $9.

Cole played basketball and scored his first points this year, everyone was rooting for him.  I got a little teary eyed.  I didn't get any good shots though.  :(

Matt lost his job January 28, 2010 after working for Wal-Mart almost 19 years.  Wal-Mart eliminated 1400 positions that day and Matt had one of them.  He was working as a Market Electronics Merchandiser over 14 stores. 

I made a really ugly scrapbook from our Chicago trip we took last June.  I'ts fininished.  That is all I am saying about that. 

 
 

Nothing like the sun shining through your windows to let you know how your housekeeping skillz are lacking. 

Update:  My dad thought this was my floor (I think he was horrifed I posted this pic).  lol  It is my glass coffee table and it doesn't take very many days for it to look like this.  Remember, we live off a gravel road in the country.  :)

In March, we took Cole and a friend to see the Harlem Globetrotters.  We all really enjoyed it. 

 

I have been messing around with actions a lot lately.  Took pics of this cute little girl.

 

She is so cute and cuddly.  

 
My uterus no longer aches for babies, but my camera totally aches for babies.

 

We had a very sick kid the first of April.  Mono.  The kissing disease. It kept him in the hospital for 6 days and out of school for 3 1/2 weeks. 

There was a very sick kid hiding underneath this blanket so his mom wouldn't take a photo of him, however, he was laughing. 

These pics were taken during the time when he felt a little better.  Believe me, there were times when he felt absolutely miserable.  And so did his mom and dad.  So thankful he is all better.

 
When he returned home there were lots of cards from school.

 
And our friends had cleaned our house and placed Easter eggs throughout . . .

 I think we have finally found them all.  I think.

 

T-Bone has been my favorite thing to photograph lately. 

 
 
 
   
I pulled a dog from the frozen pond this winter.

I had Matt take this photo of me when I came back to change my clothes.  Don't know if you can tell, but I am sopping wet from the waist down.  Yes, I think I should be a super hero.  I mean, look at those guns. 

 That is him on the right.  It makes me happy when he stops by but T-Bone is not too fond of him yet. 

I think because he likes to mark his favorite spots.  And T-Bone likes to mark his own favorite spots.

 

Cole turned 13 on April 23rd.  It made me sad.  But happy. 

 

The President came to town on April 28, 2010. 

My butt and camera made the news taking photos of the motorcade. 

 

Matt was hired by County Market and started working again on May 3, 2010.   He is working at the Hannibal store and will hopefully be managing his own store in 6 months or so. 

That's all folks, thanks for making it to . . .

The End. 

I know, a picture of my rear would have been more fitting.

But(t) . . . I thought I would spare you.

 

The Lipstick of an Old Mother Pucker

Does the title of this blog shock you?  It shocked me.  But then I laughed.  I asked Matt what he thought.  He asked, "What do you think?"  I said, "I think it is funny."  

1).  This blog is about my lipstick. 

2).   I am getting old.   

3).   I'm a mother 

4).  I have a pucker. 

The title just seemed appropriate.

This is my lipstick.  Every tube looks like this. I had heard that the shape of your lipstick reveals some interesting things about oneself so I thought I would dwelve deeper.  I was hoping the shape of my lipstick would reveal that I was sexy, a good kisser (look at the slope on that baby), irresistible, but it doesn't. 

   

According to this, I am . . .

(the words in red are how I feel about the description) 

Creative (if you call using a towel to wipe myself when I run out of toilet paper "creative", I guess you can say I  am creative . . . oh, like you have never done that!)

Enthusiastic, energetic  (I am enthusiastic and energetic after about 5 Red Bulls)

Talkative (duh)

Loves attention (I am posting a blog about the shape of my lipstick with a shocking title and I just told you I would wipe myself with a towel if I run out of toilet paper)

Falls in love easily (maybe with dogs)

Helpful (I would definitely wipe your @ss if you needed me to, possibly even with a towel if I ran out of toilet paper)

Personally, I just think the shape of my lipstick means I am wasteful.  

You know that one side is going to break off.  

  

Just Dance.

 I think everyone knows by now that after working almost 19 years for Wal-Mart, Matt's position was eliminated (along with around 1400 other Wal-Mart employees who had similar positions) due to the company's restructuring.   He is still employed with Wal-Mart until April 9th, if he doesn't find another job within the company, he will receive his severance pay and start a whole new adventure with another company. There is no doubt in our minds that he can get another job with Wal-Mart but we do not want to move, so something would need to come up in this area, and as of right this minute, nothing is open.  I really don't think anyone would handle losing their job, after having been with a company for 19 years, as well as Matt.  He has never been bitter, still thinks Wal-Mart is a great company, and says, "that is business".

And we are doing fine.  Still have our house, still have food on the table, and no bill collectors have been calling (well, I just don't answer the phone).  Just kidding!  lol  Don't want anyone feeling sorry for us, we know we have been blessed and no matter what happens, we know we will be fine.

Right now, we are just waiting on resumes to be received, interviews to be set up, and hopefully something great will open up just for him.  I really feel that whoever ends up with him, will be very lucky.  He is fair, he is even-tempered, not afraid to work, and doggone it, people like him!

So during this waiting period we have been . . .

DANCING!!!

Matt kicks my booty playing Wii's "Just Dance" game.  I know I am a better dancer than him.  Not that I am good.  But I am better than him.  :)  

Even Cole beats me at it.  And he barely moves.  I work my booty off, I know I should be winning.  I think it has something to do with their experience with the controllers.  I am a sore loser.  Matt would say I'm a sore winner, too.  

So I like to sing, "I am the champion . . ."

What is wrong with that?

Some other pros to having an unemployed husband (don't worry, I won't tell you all of them, unless you ask) . . . getting things done around the house.   He does the laundry, the dishes, and he finally helped me get this quilt rack hung up.

His mom made this quilt for him.  I love it.  It is made with all of his old t-shirts, jerseys, and some old pics of him.  I hung his old high school football jersey above it, along with his grandpa's hat, and his grandparent's old personalized license plate.

We built this house almost 4 years ago and I finally got something up on the wall in the basement!  It still looks bare though, I wonder how much more time I will have him at home . . .

there is a lot more on my honey-do list and I enjoy watching them . . .

 

Just dance.

Gunna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Dance. Dance. Dance.

Ju-just dance.
 
   

I Smell Something Fishy . . .

Calm down . . .

 

I like to eat tuna. 

Out of the packet. 

At the office. 

Stinks the whole place up. 

Like tuna.

No mayo.

No relish.

Just a packet of tuna.

My employers think it is weird.

They ask,

"No mayo?"

That's right, no mayo. 

Just me and a packet of tuna.

Oh, and a fork.

Because who wants fishy fingers?

Not me.

i-Phone Photos

I got some bling for my i-Phone for Christmas. 

The bling hurts my ears, but that's the price you pay for making your phone look good.

I thought I would share some of my i-Phone photos.  The quality isn't very good, sometimes that is due to the fact that I am driving while taking photos, sometimes that is due to the fact that it has a really crappy camera. 

See those orange cones to the left?  That is where the Palmyra student drivers practice parallel parking.  I hope they don't click and drive like me. 

 

This next one's not too bad for a drive-by shooting (sorry, I couldn't resist).  I am a little peeved I didn't go back here with my good camera though.  All of the trees leaves were pretty much gone except for these two.

 

I feel the need . . . the need for speed.

Is it wrong to like looking at the graffiti on trains?  If it is, I don't want to be right.
 

My little boy with the deep voice waiting for the game to start.

I lied in the last post when I said I didn't take a single photo on Christmas, I forgot I took this photo with my phone when the electricity went out.  So thankful these flameless candles I bought my sister for Christmas didn't get here before we celebrated our Christmas together.  Don't worry, Gayla, there is still plenty of juice in these babies.  I didn't even have to take them out of the package to turn them on.  ;)
 

And last but not least, my absolute favorite gas station in Hannibal.  No, I don't get my gas there (what if my check were bad?) . . . but I do enjoy taking photos of their signs.

Hope you enjoyed my i-Phone photos, I know I did.

:)

  
 
 

Welcome to Our Christmas!!!

I needed a tree decorator.  I cannot decorate a tree.  And I need a new star.  I have yet to find one that I love.

Some of the foods I made that will cause me to have to wear Spanx the next month or so . . . 

 

  
 

The Saturday before Christmas . . . we celebrated at my parent's house. We arrived there late in the evening, so I didn't get very many photos . . .

A little entertainment (photos courtesy of my sister):

My mother always played the piano at church when we were growing up.  That is where the musicality in our family stops. I took piano lessons for 13 years.  Count them.  THIRTEEN years.  I could barely remember how to read the notes to the simple, "What Child is This".   Gayla did worse.  But as she will tell you . . . she didn't take for 13 years.  Yep, 13 years.

Who knew I had dyed my hair the same color as Cole's? 

The next morning, SOME of us made it to church.  Okay, so SOME of us weren't feeling good (we won't name names).  But Mom, Dad, Cole, CeCe, Mercede, and I attended the Christmas program at my parent's church.  Oh, and Matt had to work.  He wasn't sick (cough, cough).  No, seriously, they really didn't feel well. 

Cole was too cool to get up and sing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.   And Mercede stole the show, as usual.

Did I mention musicality doesn't run in our family?  Oh, I did?  Okay, just checkin'.

Christmas Eve . . .  Matt, Cole, and I attended our church's service.  Then we watched snippets from some of our favorite Christmas movies and let Cole unwrap his presents . . .

 

He said it was his 2nd best Christmas ever!  

Apparently, he doesn't remember when we used to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on a hundred different presents.  Oh yeah, he was only two then.   Stupid us.

Christmas Day . . . I do not have a single photo from Christmas day.  Matt's parents came for brunch and they took our son home with them.  Matt didn't feel well.  We slept Christmas away.  Yes Dad, we slept.  Matt was sick.  Dad likes to question me on this for some reason.  Yep, that's where I get it from.

Oh, and I forgot, we lost power for a couple of hours.  And it was cold.  Brrrr . . .

The Saturday after Christmas . . . we went to Matt's parent's house.

A little slice of a BIG cupcake to celebrate the birth of Jesus:

 
 

"The Night Before Christmas" is always read.

 

Yes, that is my child on the right.

No, we did not think about coordinating outfits. 

And one with the grandparents and grandchildren before they went nighty night:

Hope you all had a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
   
 

This and That

Where to start?  Hmmm . . .

Well . . . most of you are on facebook, except for my dear blogging friend, Amee (who sent me the cutest Halloween card that was perfect for me), . . . but I still am going to post a couple of the pics I put on there. 

Cole was sick the night we were supposed to go to Palmyra's Halloween party.  Matt told me to go without him, he said he would stay home with Cole, so like a good wife  . . . I did.  lol 

Amee, here is a senior pose for you.  I don't quite have it down like you. 

PALMYRA'S HALLOWEEN PARTY

I have a non-alcoholic beer in my hand.  This was pointed out to me on facebook.  Don't worry, it wasn't mine.  I was holding it for the photographer.  I don't drink beer because I think it tastes good . . . there would be no reason for me to drink a non-alcoholic beer.

This next one seems to scare people, but I think it is funny.  It's Nacho Libre!

FAMILY

I also recently took some photos of my SIL's family. 

 PIONEER WOMAN COOKS
 
I was so excited to get PW's cookbook in the mail last week:

It is gorgeous on the inside.  I believe all of the recipes are on her site but it is so nice having them in a book.  I made this for dinner, please forgive my crummy photo . . . but I was hungry.

Yeah, it doesn't look very appetizing . . . but it was. 

The best things were the onion strings.  I would definitely make them again.  The meatballs were pretty good. I know, they look disgusting, but really, they were pretty good. And the mashed potatoes were yummy but I still prefer mine.  I linked the recipes in case you are interested.  Her pics definitely look more appetizing than mine do!

Back to Halloween . . .

I had my very own emo for Halloween.  No, not Elmo.  Emo.  Yep, if you don't know what that means or is . . . then you are old.

Yep, the jeans are a little long, he definitely has the skinny legs for skinny jeans though, and he is wearing my size 8 tennis shoes!  lol 
 

He wore the same jacket two years ago for Halloween:

 

It is a pretty cool jacket.

I was hoping it would fit me.

I tried it on.

It fits.

Kind of.

Sort of.

I just might be an emo next year!  :)
 

Today's Thoughts by Kristi Smith

I need to get rid of some "stuff".  Why do we need so much "stuff"? 

Think I need to live with less so I can have more. Yup, stole that from Oprah.  Because, of course, she lives this way.  ;)

I have figured out that I can't figure out anybody but me (that's mine).  And if I could figure me out I would be doing really well.

I wish I had a bunch of brothers and sisters and we all sang in the barn together.

I think too many people pretend to be happy and too many people complain too much.  I want a happy medium.   Am I complaining?
 
The sun makes me happy, the rain makes me inquisitive.

I think a lot of people like me but very few know me.  If they knew me, would they like me?  Screw them if they wouldn't.  Hee-hee. 

Seriously, guacamole is better than sliced bread.

I love my parents to pieces, I hope they know that.   My mom let me dress like this for Halloween instead of being a pretty princess:

 

After reading Today's Thoughts . . . it probably doesn't surprise you that I wasn't a pretty princess.